What comes next for me?

Sorting out the details of my life

Perhaps I just really wanted wedding cake… September 27, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — merimnao @ 6:13 pm

I have a memory of an interaction that occurred frequently when I was in high school. My best friend would say something like, “oh, I wish I had a boyfriend.” I would sigh and say “I wish I had a husband.”

This was ridiculous. I was in HIGH SCHOOL. I don’t think I *really* wanted to be a teenage bride… I hope not! It was more likely a symptom of my consistent impatience and longing for something new, something more, something better. Marriage and being in a relationship with a husband represented an ideal, a longterm happy match that would make life easy and perfect.

Well.

Years later, I realize that married life is neither perfect nor easy. Getting married certainly did not magically solve any of my problems, although it gave me someone with whom I could share my laughs and tears.

Years later, I am grateful for the experiences I had in life on my own and for the stories I can tell about my sometimes thrilling, often mundane life before I was Mrs. Merimnao.

Years later, I am thankful for the individual I found, the man who captures my attention and my giggles. Neither of us is perfect, but I usually think he is much closer to mastering perfection than I am. I adore him, and I long to be around him after even short absences. I have found someone who is fantastic and delightful and perfect for me.

Years after those original longings for a husband, though, I am longing for what comes next.

Gah! I wish I could train myself to be satisfied with the wonders of life in the here and now.

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