What comes next for me?

Sorting out the details of my life

“Your ability for accomplishment will follow with success.” December 21, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — merimnao @ 5:42 pm

Wouldn’t it be great if the fortunes inside those cookies were actually valid? …if I could peek into my future just by eating a sugary treat and then deciphering the cryptic message within?

If only life worked that way…

I wish I could predict some successful accomplishments right now. I can think of a few things that I would like to see happen with success, but unfortunately I can’t rely on my fortune to tell me my fate.

Life is unpredictable.
Friends unexpectedly lose their unborn babies.
People get cancer at unusually young ages.
Children inexplicably fall unconscious only to never regain brain function. Marriages fall apart despite many efforts and tears.

Quite simply, that all sucks.

I am having a hard time dealing things lately. I feel rather anxious, worrying about all of the possible catastrophes and tragedies awaiting me and my loved ones. I know this is not quite rational or healthy, but it is difficult to escape these thoughts. I don’t enjoy my job anymore, even the little parts that I previously found rewarding. I keep experiencing a sense of floating above my life, rather than participating in it. I feel awkward in social settings, like I am forcing actions or responses purely because I know they are expected. I do not like any of these thoughts and feelings.

Today I started the process to schedule an appointment with a counselor; I am hopeful that talking through these things will be helpful.

Let’s hope that my ability for accomplishment will follow with success, whatever that means…

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